Friday, December 23, 2011

Worst Night EVER*

*includes all nights that don't include a human life form separate from your own who has bodily fluids exploding out one end or the other... (I almost titled this 'My Worst Night EVER' but doing that wouldn't have allowed me to create that disclaimer. Which I really wanted to do.)

Last night I met up with some out-of-town friends who I haven't seen in a few years. That wasn't the 'worst night EVER' part of the night. That was actually a really, really nice visit and it was great to see them. I stayed visiting with them until midnight (much later than I had planned, but it was a really enjoyable visit!), and then made the 45-minute trek home. The drive wasn't the 'worst night EVER' part either. The roads were pretty empty and it was smooth sailing all the way home.

I got home a little before one o'clock. The three animals currently living in my home all found me within minutes of my return.

It was quick work getting myself ready for bed.

It was not quite-as-quick work getting the animals ready for bed. I got them outside, walked out onto the grass with one of them, encouraging him to go to the bathroom so he wouldn't wake me up in an hour (which, as it turned out, wouldn't have been an issue - that's a teaser...).

I came up with a genius (literally, in my opinion) idea... And it worked.

Success, and I was ready for bed.

I got in to bed, opened up the window just a little bit (I love fresh, cold air while I'm sleeping) and curled up ready to crash.

My back started itching.

A lot.

For the next hour I'd settle in, and then have an itching fit where I'd be rubbing my back on the bed trying to scratch it.


Multiple times.

During that hour, the visiting cat started meowing at my door. She knew I was inside my room and she wouldn't go away. I ignored her for a while but didn't want her to wake anyone else up so I let her in.

I curled up again and she started circling me on the bed. Purring.

I wasn't sure if this was some cat ritual that meant she was planning on eating me or something, but at that moment I didn't really care. I was too itchy to care.

After the hour of resting, twitching, and rubbing my back on my bed I got up and filled up the bathtub with really warm water. I climbed in and fell asleep.

For about an hour and a half.

It wasn't comfortable sleep, but it was sleep. I woke up because the water had gotten cold. I turned on the water as hot as it would go just to warm up, climbed out, and got ready for bed again - slathering lotion all over so I wouldn't stay dried out from the water I had just soaked in.

I climbed in to bed.

And couldn't fall asleep.

I was itchy again.

I remembered this back-scratcher that my mom had gotten all of us for Christmas last year or the year before. I kept it by my bed but hadn't used it a ton.

Now I will say -

Best. Invention. Ever.

That thing saved my life.

And my sanity.

I scratched that thing up and down my back for a long time. I rolled onto my stomach and started dozing with the scratcher sticking out of the top of my shirt. I wanted it close by in case I had another itching emergency.

At one point I rolled onto my side and the top of the scratcher was resting against my head.

I still wasn't ready to release it to as far away as the floor.

I finally moved it but kept it rightbymybed. Just in case.

Around this time I started feeling hungry. I had gone out to dinner but hadn't eaten a lot because my stomach was still a bit unsettled. And I hadn't planned on being awake for this many hours after dinner.

I started feeling really hungry.

I remembered that a friend had given me some Reese's Christmas trees.

I remembered those Reese's Christmas trees were in my shoulder bag... which was rightbymybed.

I reached over, shuffled things around until I found one, opened it up and started eating it.

While still lying down.

That was the lowest point of the night.

Around 4ish, I ended up finally being able to fall asleep.

I woke up at 8.

I was supposed to be at work by 7.

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