A Good Month

On 1 October I went on a date with a guy in my ward. I enjoyed it and it seemed that he did too, but I had never been on a second date before, and didn't really plan on being asked out by him again.

That weekend (2-3 October) I emotionally ate all weekend - leading to the only weight watchers weigh-in I had where my weight went up.

On 4 October, he called - and asked me out again for the upcoming weekend. I was thrilled.

On 10 October he called me after church and we went to feed the ducks. While feeding the ducks he asked me out for the upcoming Wednesday and Saturday. That Wednesday he held my hand (a first for me). On Friday I invited him to a fireside my parents were giving on that Sunday. That Sunday, after the fireside, he kissed me (another first).

I saw him at least three times a week for the two weeks following. On 26 October, while driving home from having dinner with him and some married friends of mine, he said there were some things we needed to talk about...

On 30 October we talked about them.

He didn't think we should date anymore.

I took it pretty hard, and the next day (Sunday) felt like an emotional wreck. Sunday night I wrote in my journal until almost 2 am. I felt a lot better after writing. I included an entire paragraph with almost all the sentences beginning with 'I'm mad because...' It was very healing.

I saw him tonight at a fireside and didn't get emotional. But I did want to talk to him.

I didn't.

He was a big part of my life for all of October. Sometimes things come up that I immediately think of sharing with him. And then remember that we don't have that kind of relationship anymore.

It kind of stinks.

Tonight when I got in my car and plugged in my ipod, the song 'Unanswered Prayers' by Garth Brooks came on. I hadn't really been praying about things with this guy. It seemed too early to want things to go a certain way. However, I do think I prayed a few times that things would keep going well. I was really enjoying being in a dating relationship - and he's a really good guy. But hearing this song reminded me that there's a reason behind things that we may never figure out. Or not figure out for a very long time. As painful as it was, I'm thinking that somehow, it was for the better. And maybe someday I'll know why.

this was the only version of the song that I could find.

The reason I can still look at October and call it a good month is because I feel like I can appreciate the experience for what it was.

- for the first time ever, a guy was actually interested in me at the same time I was interested in him (unfortunately my interest outlasted his)
- I held a guy's hand multiple times (and it was thrilling every time it happened)
- he's a good guy. sadly, things ended, but he's a good guy. it was a good first-time-relationship experience. he wasn't a jerk, or a creeper, but a really nice guy.
- coming out of it, I find myself wanting to be more social because I want to experience that again. I haven't felt a need / desire to be social for a really long time, so this is definitely a good thing.

Wednesday's Goodness

So... earlier today I thought about a few things that I would blog about today. Now, at 11:10 pm, I can't remember. It was a good day though, so yay for that! (:

Tuesday's Goodness

private dance parties in my bedroom!

- created a "dance party" song list
- randomized the "dance party" song list
- busted a move
- without witnesses.
(except the dingo, but he's not willing to talk)

so fun.

while dancing, some different scenes went through my head.
for your viewing pleasure:

(please ignore the Spanish voice-over)

Monday's Goodness

Today I am grateful to my professor who last week told us to take today off. It was a nice break.

I'm also grateful that I had a chance to go through so many old pictures. Sweet memories! I'll post some of them soon.

This Week -

- I'm going to try to post about something good that happens each day.

I just wanted to put this up first so it's not just something in my head that ends up never happening. (:

It's Christmas Time!

Merry Christmas Eve!

I can't tell you how much I love the Christmas season. I love the constant reminders of our Savior and His birth, and consequently His life and example.

Although it's not Thanksgiving, I'm going to list a few things I'm grateful for:

- my family
i have learned so much from all of them, and i love spending time with all of them - which i think is in and of itself a blessing
my gratitude here is also for all of my in-laws who are wonderful additions to the family

- the gospel of Jesus Christ
i absolutely know that my knowledge and belief in my Savior and my Father's plan for me has and will continue to be the driving force behind my choices

- my life
i really am thankful for this life that i have lived and get to continue living. by no means has it been perfect, but it's been great

There are many, many other things I'm grateful for, but I think they all stem from the above three.


I hope you all have a very Merry and wonderful Christmas!

There's So Much to Be Grateful For...!

I've been meaning to write a Thanksgiving post since... Thanksgiving! Haven't gotten around to it. Since I really don't like the idea of having to catch up on Thanksgiving and Christmas, I figured I could get this done before the other needs to happen. If you followed that thought, then 2 stars for you!

I really do love Thanksgiving. I love the time spent with family, and the meaning behind the holiday. I don't care if the story they gave us in elementary school isn't exactly the way it started. I like the thought of dedicating a holiday to being grateful.

This past Thanksgiving was wonderful. Almost everyone was able to gather at my parents house (Faith and her three boys celebrated the holiday in Tulsa and were definitely missed). It was so nice to have (almost) everyone all together again. I love the big family gatherings. I love the kids running around playing with their cousins, I love the interaction with my siblings (interesting to think how much the dynamic changes as everyone gets older), I loved playing NCAA football on the playstation (I think that's what it's played on...) and re-learning how to play Super Smash Brothers with my brother-in-law (and actually getting "good" enough that he didn't feel like he had to go easy on me anymore - or at least as easy). I loved it all.

This is one of the first things I saw early Thanksgiving morning:

In case you can't tell what it is, it's my dog (Dingo) curled up on my bedroom floor with a couple of stuffed animals. He's got a pig by his head, and a bear between his paws. I thought it was adorable.

This year my sister, sister-in-law, and I started what I hope becomes our new Thanksgiving tradition. We ran a 5k the morning of Thanksgiving. Dingo got up when he heard me moving around and started following me around the house. He was acting really anxious so I thought he needed to go outside. I opened the door for him twice with no response. I thought maybe he needed food and water, so he followed me as I checked his bowls. Nothing. I went downstairs to make sure Bethany and Jen were up. He followed me downstairs too - normally he'll wait at the door upstairs for me. I couldn't figure out why he was so intent on staying with me, then it hit me. He wanted to go running with me. I used to take him running quite often while I lived at home and later when I was just visiting. He loved it. Somehow he knew what I was planning to do, and didn't want to miss out on it. It was really sad to have to leave him at the door. Before the weekend was out, I did take him for a walk - which he loved.

It was raining a bit when we left, so we were planning on being cold, but I didn't think it was really too bad. I met up with a friend who had also signed up, and we ran it together. I had my phone in my pocket (I always have it with me when I run in case of death or dismemberment or something) and was going to take a picture of us running, but we decided we'd probably turn out better if we waited until after the race. Unfortunately, I forgot to take one after, but I think we looked something like this -

- except we had more clothes on and were wearing lower heels. Other than that I think the similarity is quite shocking (what do you think Heather?).

At the end of the race, I raced a motorcycle.


And yes, it was moving as I was racing it. As we were rounding the last corner, a cop on a motorcycle that had been following the route came up behind us. I called out, "Can I just jump on the back and you zip me around to the finish?" He said, "Oh, you're almost there, and it's only a one-seater." I told him that I didn't mind driving. He replied, "Tell you what, I'll race you to the end, whoever wins, gets to drive." I accepted, looked over at Heather, then took off running. He started revving his engine and was staying right behind me. People could see what was going on and they started yelling, "Yeah, you got him!" and "Way to go!" I totally won. I think. I don't know, but it was a lot of fun and a great way to end the race.

While we were running, the guys in the family went up to Rice-Eccles Stadium for the Turkey Bowl. How'd they get in? - "They know a guy." They had a lot of fun playing, and there weren't any injuries to report.

After the race there was a lot of cooking (tons of food) and lots of great time with the family. It really was a wonderful day and weekend.

Now, in the true spirit of Thanksgiving - I'm thankful for my family. I'm grateful that we're all friends. I'm grateful for wonderful in-laws who are a great addition to the family. I'm grateful for my knowledge of God's plan for us and for help that we get in doing the things required. I'm grateful for the gospel. I'm grateful for wonderful people that God has put in my life at specific times to help me become a better person.